


Forever Young

by tbhtooru



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Angst, M/M, Survivor Guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-11-26 12:02:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20929907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tbhtooru/pseuds/tbhtooru
Summary: for the first time in his life Richie “trashmouth” Tozier found himself at a loss for words. No witty comeback, no your mom jokes.  For once he closed his mouth, and opened his heart





	Forever Young

On almost any given weekend, it was safe to assume you could find the losers sleeping over in Stan’s basement, laying on couches and the floor, and lit only by the tv in front of them playing what’s left of the cheesy rom-com they last watched. Much like any other sleepover, everyone had fallen asleep, save for one: Richie.  
The movie’s closing scenes began and Alphaville’s Forever Young played softly throughout the room. Richie had never been one to read deep into the lyrics of songs, he listed to music for the beat and the instrumentation, but as the song continued playing, he felt a lump forming in his throat. He looked at his friend lying around him. He thought about the unbridled love he felt for each and every one of them. He thought that if they were to ever face Pennywise again it would be too soon. He wanted more than anything else for this moment to never pass them by. He wanted to stay “forever young” with his best friends by his side. Richie hadn’t realized he’d been crying until a rustling in the corner of the room brought him back to reality.  
“Are you okay?” Eddie whispered from across the room.  
“Oh…yeah,” Richie replied, tears still dripping down his face, “Just thinking about your mom gets me all emotional.”  
Though his constant your mom jokes would usually push Eddie away, it was no use as he was already tiptoeing around the sleeping bodies that lied between the two. He turned to face Richie and wiped a tear from his cheek. “Dance with me,” He said, grabbing Richie’s hands, pulling him to his feet, “I love this song.”  
The song was nearing its end, but Richie complied. The two boys stood for a moment, just staring at each other, neither entirely sure what would come next. Without speaking they both placed their hands on each other’s shoulders and began to sway as though it were a middle school dance. They both giggle at this image for a moment before Richie is overtaken by sadness once again as his laughter turns to sobs. He pulled Eddie into a tight hug, burying his face into the shorter boy’s shoulder.  
“It’s okay,” Eddie whispered into Richie’s ear, “You’re okay.”  
There’s a silence between the two of them, filled by the song’s chorus playing for a final time.  
_Forever young_  
_ I want to be forever young_  
_ Do you really want to live forever_  
_ Forever, and ever?_  
“I do,” Eddie said, pulling away from Richie, just enough so he could look into his eyes, “want to live forever, that is. I, Eddie Kaspbrack, want to be forever young. If it means spending more time with you, I really,_ really_ do.”  
For the first time in his life Richie “trashmouth” Tozier found himself at a loss for words. There was so much he wanted to say, but all he could do was pull Eddie close and say, “Thank you.”  
“You don’t need to thank me,” Eddie responded. “We all get sad, and we all get scared, and it’s okay for you to let that out. It’s okay for you to cry, and I’d rather it be on my shoulder than for you to feel alone because you’re not alone. I’ll always be with you.”  
Though the song had long since stopped, the 2 boys stayed as they were, swaying in each other’s arms. The lyrics resonated in both their hearts; to be forever young, to hold each other for eternity would be perfection.

Some nights Richie could drown out the memories, the haunting vision of his first love dying right in front of him. Only some nights. Most nights though, his demons prevailed. On nights when he felt particularly alone, he found himself going back to the mixtape Eddie made of his favorite songs when he was young. It’s the only reason Richie kept his old Walkman around. On one particular night, he knew exactly the song he needed to hear, immediately skipping to the 3rd track: Forever Young.  
Without even thinking about it, Richie put his arms out in front of him, and he could almost feel Eddie’s shoulders beneath his hands. He slow danced throughout his bedroom all alone, and he felt the warmth of his first love holding him, nonetheless.  
“Eddie,” he whispered, to the empty room, “I’ve missed you.”  
It’s at this point when he feels the tears streaming down his face. It felt so nice, imagining they were young again, happy, together, and most importantly, alive; But within his heart, he knew it wasn’t the truth. He knew he was alone, and he knew that the only thing in his embrace was the air around him. He fell to the ground, choking out sobs as Eddie’s words came back to him.  
_It’s okay for you to cry…I’ll always be with you_  
“Always? What happened to always, Eds? Where are you now?” He paused for a moment to catch his breath. It was almost as though he was waiting for a response, even though he knew the answer, “six feet under, where I left you dying. It's not fair, Eds. You wanted to stay forever young, and now look where we are. I tried to save you, but I couldn’t, and now you’re fucking dead, and you don’t deserve it! It should’ve … It should’ve been me.”  
Richie stayed quiet, just listening, hoping he would hear Eddie’s voice again; hoping he wouldn’t have to feel so alone. He closed his eyes tightly willing anything, even a single word to come to him. But all he could hear was a deafening silence, though it told him all he needed to know: Eddie wasn’t coming back.  
“It should have been me.”

**Author's Note:**

> the it fandom, collectively: Eddie's not dead! He lived, and he's very happily married to Richie, and they adopted a dog  
me, the chaotic being i am: EDDIE'S DEAD AND RICHIE IS SAD!


End file.
